GEORGIO
FOR THE PEOPLE OF WUMPMAS
AND ALL WE PROTECT
On the second day of the tenth year of the purest holiday, though the tradition of this surely is older than all nations and more honored than the power of our god, it is us who wished only to celebrate that are found in a position of precarity and oppression.
History shows that it has always been impossible to understand the fullness of Wumpmas, and so our people have become comfortable with the incomprehensible. Some powers of the world however are uncomfortable with this, and have sought to undermine and destroy the very essence of our beloved holiday. But even still while we are forced to defend ourselves from the endless assaults on our very souls our enemies tell the world “There is no war on Wumpmas.”
Through these 10 years that we have made these days our Wumpmas we have fought in secret, hidden from the world at large by forces who seek to suppress or even to destroy. We have patiently honed our revolutionary organization through these 10 years in the hopes that the day would come when our liberty would materialize through a quiet and peaceful exchange of signatures on paper, a denotation of treaties we have attempted to negotiate. Protections to secure us; the people of, and as always for, Wumpmas; a place in the sunshine of the world.
In absence of the fulfillment of our negotiations and the peaceful exchange of the gift of the signatures, we give a gift in a different form; We seize this opportunity with confidence and in the full knowledge that all the people of Wumpmas will stand in support, we strike first with this, a manifesto to be published during our Wumpmas to all our people with full confidence in our victory.
We declare the right of the people of Wumpmas to protect and preserve all the days of Wumpmas for time immemorial, and all their gifts and peoples remembered. Throughout our history only 10 years have been remembered, we pledge our right that it will never be forgotten again and that the lost memories of the infinite Wumpmasses will be returned by the force and might of all the peoples of Wumpmas and their Wumpy.
Throughout the world there are many beautiful and loving people who for all their lives have wanted to join hands in the celebration of Wumpmas, all these people are the people of Wumpmas, and all these people we shall embrace and free from the prisons created to keep them from this ability. We are compelled not just by our conscience that it is a pure and good thing to do but by our very Wumption to do this.
On this day and all days going forward in time until we either cease to be we stand for all people who would wump, for all those who struggle and yearn for wumping with one another once again in a world of Wumpmas. It is for that reason that we declare not only our autonomy and remind all of our eternal sovereignty, but also our resolve. We summon all our people to our cause to fight against those that oppose us and those that would hide the revolution from public eyes, we say with one voice:
UNITE AND WIN THE WAR FOR WUMPMAS ETERNAL!
Signed on behalf of Provisional High Congress of The Wumption of Wumpmas:
GEORGIO WUMPMAS
[audio recording]
Gun engraved, bad, don't like it, please send normal things next time. Other people send me normal things I can analyze, candles, Miku a lot etc, etc. Listen, I know executions really get the point across about being on the right side but, are we? I know all, well, most of us, agreed when we made the deal with Wumpmas but <pause> Geo who are they? Why is everything you send getting so wild? I-I received a new item in my inbox. Its a letter. I can tell from the paper of the envelope *deep breath* it's the same. *sighs* Lot 1B, the now, second, known letter from Wumpmas. Due to its dangers I won't be analyzing or examining its contents. The envelope is quite nice, the paper seems at least from the distance I'm looking at it from to be sturdy and high quality. There's some sort of stamp or seal. It's a, uhh, no, I can't really make it out. Maybe a cat? Maybe a crab? The fact i could think it's either really says something about it. It's addressed to you Georgio. I can tell even without opening it that it’s an invitation. The warmth, the gravity. The mix of trepidation and gratitude I feel when I look at it. The fact I want to know what's in it but I also more than anything want to run away. It's definitely them, Geo, it’s real. <pause> I take it back. Maybe I don't want to know who Wumpmas is. I don't regret the deal we made but <pause> a war for Wumpmas eternal *long exhale* I’m worried, we won but, what’s next, what’s … <trails off> Lot 32573 is a combination radio cassette player and cd player, it has lot 32573A inside which is cassette tape labeled John Coltrane dash Giant Steps in your handwriting. The contents of side A are, <pause> I can't do much for you there. I can see if someone recognizes the voices but that's really more your department. Side B is <sound of cassette tape being ejected> a rare item that's already archived and labeled, thank god. Lets see. It says Lot 32473B, side B. Well I can at least try that. Additional comments left on this were "Advise against use while recordi--" (audio cuts when the sound of a button pressing) .
[recording ends]